No area of life falls totally outside of the guidance and authority of God’s Word. My point is that we cannot simply state that the Bible “doesn’t mention premarital relationship” or it “doesn’t mention dating or courtship,” and then think we can do what we think is right in our own eyes. It is important for us to always acknowledge the understanding that the whole idea of marriage did not emanate from man’s wisdom but God’s. This presupposes that we cannot pursue the process towards such an important divine by our terms but His – which is His Word. Again, its success emanates Him, the author, and Finisher of our faith (Heb. 12:2). If only you will subject yourself to Him, you can be very sure of His provisions and guidance which are capable of securing you a godly marriage; a marriage that fulfils to the letter, God’s intent for it. For us Christians, the Lord has given us His Word, and the Holy Spirit helps us to understand it.
At this point, I want to provide a brief explanation of two important Biblical texts that can refine our understanding of God’s standard for premarital relationships.
a. 1 Peter 1: 14-16
As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” NIV
First and foremost, we are called as obedient children to live a life of holiness, not conforming to our former ways – a life we lived in ignorance. Having come to Christ, we must admit that we are no more people of ignorance; and we must not live as one. We are called to subject every aspect of our life to the One who called us and made us His own. And He says, “be holy, because I am holy”. As children, we can only produce after the kind of our Father. Remember we are born of Him and we have become a new creation (Jn. 1:13; 2 Cor. 5:17).
So then, how are we conducting ourselves as children of God? I call on all young people to arise and show forth their true identity to the world in all aspects of their lives, even in premarital relationships. For you are a holy nation, a royal priesthood, a people belonging to a Holy God (1Pet. 2:9-10). Your light must shine for the people of the world to be drawn to it. (Is. 60:1-4).
b. 1 Corinthians 6:9-20:
9Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies.
Growing up as a young Christian, the above verses were some of my favourites in scripture. They challenged me to the path of sexual purity. I believe after reading it, you have been challenged as well. Going through every line of these verses provide enough motivation to keep our bodies sexually pure. As Christians, we are not of our own as rightly stated by Apostle Paul in the above Scripture. We belong to God; and so do our bodies, which the Bible rightly describes as “members of Christ’s body”. You should therefore not in any way subject your body to lustful deeds, for it is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for your body.
Watch out for Part 3 of the continuation of this series!
2 Comments
Pastor, so please if am in a relationship a lady I intend to settle down with and along the way we have sex. How is that sexual immorality after all we are still getting married.
1 Corinthians 6:9-20, talks about sexual immorality which didn’t state specifically as to what and what constitutes sexual immorality,
a. 1 Peter 1: 14-16
As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”
Pastor, My point is these quotations do not state empirically and vividly which actions and deeds are considered immoral and unholy.
So apologetically, how is the above immoral and unholy since we are surely going to get married?
God bless you.
Hi Kwame. Thanks for the question and the insight you sought to give. Please read my articles on Premarital relationships and sexual experiences. The first two series have been posted on the site. There are two or three more to go. I think by the time I am through with this subject you will come to appreciate it more and your question will be answered. God bless you so much.